the writing on the playground walls

My monkey brain has been on overdrive for the last few months. My kids are old enough to go to pre-school, and I am ready (crawling-up-the-walls ready) to get back to work. But what should I do? My skill set belongs in an office, yet that is exactly the kind of environment that starts to eat away at my soul. Watching pretty days go by from a fluorescent lit cube, the obligatory co-worker birthday celebrations, office gossip, clock watching, boss trashing.... I want none of that. Yet, in some ways, I really love the nature of the work. Nothing makes me happier than tackling a neatly handwritten to do list. Few things are more satisfying than the deconstruction of the seemingly unmanageable into palatable bite-size portions. And being busy! How I miss being busy--work busy, brain busy, people busy! I'm so good at it. Now I need to find the next "it".

I know I need to brainstorm, think, write, plan....make lists of what I want and what I dream and how to get from here to there. But that's just it. I feel lost.