drugs or no drugs? tie dye or scrubs?

September 29, 2006

having two people monitoring my pregnancy is becoming very confusing. in the next week or so, i will have to think long and hard about whether or not to have an epidural, even though my original intention was a fully natural vaginal homebirth. at this point, i've discussed this with both my midwife and the OB and they both lie on far opposite sides of the spectrum. however, that's kind of how they lie on everything having to do with my pregnancy so at this point, i'm just confused.

on the one hand, there's my midwife. she's convinced that i'm going to carry these babies to term (4 weeks) because i'm not even "soft" yet. meanwhile, the OB thinks i've got two weeks, tops. so which is it???? she uses her fingers (quite forcefully) to assess my progress while he uses an electronic, dildo-like probe that allows him to see my cervix on an ultrasound machine. both procedures are equally invasive, but i have to say i'm a little more comfortable with the midwife's method.

according to her, an epidural would not only slow down labor, it could affect the babies' vitals and create complications that could lead to a c-section. the ob, however, thinks that an epidural would save us valuable time in the event that the 2nd baby turns after the first one comes out. for instance, if he has to manually turn the second baby in order to pull it out of my vagina, it will be a lot easier if i'm not screaming bloody murder in the process. or if he has to do an emergency c-section, we won't have to wait for anesthesia to kick in. in his opinion, an epidural is strongly recommended and that the benefits far outweigh the potential cons.

so i don't know what to do. i'd like to have these babies naturally and vaginally. and he thinks that that is entirely possible, with or without an epidural. however, if he has to stick his entire arm up my vagina and twist a baby out, i might really be grateful for the drugs. but what if neither of those situations occur and i manage to have a smooth vaginal delivery? will i be disappointed to have wussed out and gone the epidural route?

plus, after my weekly exam today, he told me that i was "a poster child for twin gestation". apparently, i'm doing a really good job of keeping these babies healthy. they both weigh nearly 5 pounds each and our vitals are kicking ass. but i can't really take full credit for that. i really think that my midwife has seriously contributed to the healthiness of my pregnancy and the babies because of the hard-core vitamin, diet, and exercise regimen that she's got me on. so maybe i should listen to her, and not fall for the worst-case-scenario mumbo jumbo. i just don't know!!!!!!!!!