my body

July 25, 2006

i wonder what's going to happen to my body. when i stand before a mirror, i am amazed at the beauty of my large brown belly. it's so smooth and firm. as weeks go by, the black line that cuts through my belly button gets darker and darker, splitting my belly into two symmetrical halves. i can hardly believe that there are two babies growing in there. are they each confined to their half, or can they trade places and swim around each other? it seems like i would feel a lot more craziness in there if they could play around that much. luckily, i am not yet at the point where their movement is painful. i'm waiting for the swift kick to the ribs or the little fist outline on my skin. so far, it's still mostly flutters and gentle jabs. much to his frustration, even jeremy has only felt a handful of movements through my belly, despite their seemingly constant acrobatics.

it's really had to imagine that they still have so much growing to do. already, i feel like i'm carrying around a ton of bricks. if i make it to my due date, i still have 14 weeks of growing left and i honestly don't know how that is humanly possible. as it is, i am having trouble walking for very long. watching me get up is a sorry sight, and rolling over in bed now includes the added bonus of a painful coochie pop (called pubic synthesis pain) usually reserved for the last few weeks before childbirth. i'm lucky enough to have gotten it almost three months before my due date. plus, either i'm lazier than ever or i'm legitimately busted because i'm having to take a nap in the middle of the day. maybe it's my body's way of stockpiling hours for the sleepless months ahead once the babies are born....

i went to a meeting at la leche league today because i wanted to know if anyone had any advice about breastfeeding twins. apparently, it's not that crazy and i should really give it a good college try before resorting to formula. my left breast is already leaking some kind of milky substance which is supposedly a good sign that i will have ample milk for my hungry babes. now the question is whether to pump and let jeremy take on some of the feeding, or try to get a rhythm where i put one on each breast and let them suck away. i'm not quite sure how this is all going to work out, but i swear that i will try harder than i've ever tried at anything to be a successful breastfeeder. even if it means surrending my body for the next year.